RESPECT

So I had this moment today, where I stood up in front of my entire Constitutional Law class and did a horrendous version of Ciara's "Like a boy " where I kinda hated on the entire class straight to their faces --- well okay that's an exaggeration... I was brutally honest. (I'll post my lyrics below for the bored!)

It occured to me in that moment that I had achieved what I have longed for my entire law school experience.... a sense of respect. Well maybe not that completely, but a sheer confidence where i could look around me a be like "i really don't care what these people think of me," and I really didn't. I hate how law school made me so starved for affirmation but I am finally over it. And I can't tell if its one of three things
1) I always commanded respect and can only know acknowledge it
2) People finally respect me for whoever it is I am in the midst or 3) I simply do not care anymore whether they do or do not respect me.

I think in any new environment, you must work hard to "prove" yourself to some degree in some variation. It was perhaps naiive of me to think that it would take anything less than two years in the radically different environment of law school to feel that I had done it.

What do I mean? I think highly of myself in a way that I always have, but has crossed into this environment, meaning I don't question what I contribute to discussion, I don't question the soundness of my legal reasoning or strategic choices, I don't question the strength of my character, passion or committment to what "i want to do" (whatever that is). I feel good about myself in a way I had previously earned in different times in different ways.

The weather is good, my year is FINALLY winding down, and I have accomplished a lot. Although I have a high level uncertainty going forward on how to construct a life - a job -- and a balance that will give me a chance for personal growth in a way that I value --- I am glad to be done, and have-rediscovered a part of myself, of Reena, that I used to know.

PHOTO: of my mentor Mayra! who has been an unbelievable friend and teacher me for this year!



[Verse: 1]
Raise up your hand
(Just Like Em')
Better think fast
(Just Like Em')
You better respond like em’
Fast like em'
Strong like em’
Girl you outta be confident
(What I'm talkin' bout')
Gotta border on arrogant
Don’t question what you say to them
(Never express a doubt)
And what you speak better be well thought out

[Hook]
Wish we could switch up the roles
And I could be that...
Tell you,you were wrong
But when you respond I never get back
Would you act emotional like me?
Say this is who I am?
Understand me
My experience
With oppression
Fightin for the right thing
Ohh

[Chorus]
What if I?
Always spoke my mind?
Never apologized?
Would the rules change up?
Or would they still apply?
If I questioned your ever word?
Sometimes I wish I could act like a "boy"

Can't be get'n mad!
What You Mad?
Can't Handle that!
Can't be get'n mad!
What you mad?
Can't handle that!

Wish we could switch up the roles:
And I could be that
[Verse: 2]
Girl go head and be... (Just Like Em')
Run the universe (Just Like Em')
In court, litigate
Dominate '
Always maintain you’re right just like em' (What)
Keep a calm demeanor
Always feign a sense of respect
(Keep Him In The Dark)
If intention is good, he can’t fight back.

HOOK
CHORUS

[Bridge]
If I was always in my zone
Of feeling comfortable
(Would Ya Like That?)
Told you I was optimistic
That your life wasn’t that bad
(Would Ya Like That?)
If I act like you
Walk A mile off in yo shoes
(Would Ya Like That?)
I'm mess'n with your head again Dose of your own medicine