One of my personal struggles is to be sure not to fixate on the negative parts of my life so for instance, I will choose to preoccupy myself with the one friend who fails me as opposed to the number of others who exceed my expectations. My new situation at work, I'm dealing with an inconsistent person, so I am not sure when she'll lash out at me, or when she'll be okay. I want to get along with my roommate, but I worry about annoying him or doing something that will piss him off and make him act passive aggressive towards me. I worry about telling my family about any new struggles I face, because I know they will say something, whether intentional or not, that will insinuate that it's all my fault and I am to blame for my own misfortunes, that or they will get upset about my bad luck.
So I need to make sure, that I don't let all these people get to me. And that there is only so much I can do in my power and control to accommodate and please the people around me. I am so scared of the consequences of people misjudging me or making feel bad about how I live my life etc, that I get unnecessary anxiety. So I'll just lay it out.
I believe that I am good lawyer, that I serve my clients well, that I do not know how to do everything well yet, but that I have a good attitude and am trying my best and learning along the way. I believe that I am confident without being cocky, that I understand my strengths and my weaknesses. I believe that I want to learn from the people around me, and that no matter what I do, people may be dissatisfied with me and I cannot take it personally. And I cannot afford to doubt myself, there are a number of people who think of highly of me, who believe in me, and believe in what i have to offer. And when others question, undermine, or hate on me, even if its a close friend who doesn't think I work hard enough, or a family member that thinks that I don't know how to properly please my superiors and its my fault - I cannot let their voice get inside my head. Everyone makes sense of the world in different ways and many people do not know how to be supportive. I am good worker, I have my strengths and flaws just like anyone else, I have self respect, and believe that I deserve to be treated with a basic level of respect and that is unacceptable when people do not adhere to basic principles as such.
I try to be considerate to the people around me. I try not to be selfish and I try to be aware of how my actions affect others. I will not always know, I am sometimes oblivious, and people may misunderstand my actions. I cannot deal with these issues in the abstract. I can try to confront these issues head on, to be direct to be proactive and mature. But if someone thinks I watch to much t.v. or have unsophisticated tastes, or am babied by my friends, or twist my candor into judgments against me, it is beyond my control. I cannot get everyone to like me, to believe in me, to see the best in me. People will inevitably be disappointed in me, judge my behaviors and choices, whether small or big and i just have to continue on being myself, and being as true to myself, my values, as I can. I can be self reflective, i can be considerate, but I cannot be preoccupied on manipulating any other person's perceptions of me.
I have so much love in my life, and I must appreciate it. I don't want to be a Debbie Downer, but I also have to be true to myself in my low moments. The most I can do is not judge other people, to think the best of most people, and whether people afford me the same, is beyond my control. Its all beyond my control. Its not my fault. Its not my fault. Its not my fault.
So I need to make sure, that I don't let all these people get to me. And that there is only so much I can do in my power and control to accommodate and please the people around me. I am so scared of the consequences of people misjudging me or making feel bad about how I live my life etc, that I get unnecessary anxiety. So I'll just lay it out.
I believe that I am good lawyer, that I serve my clients well, that I do not know how to do everything well yet, but that I have a good attitude and am trying my best and learning along the way. I believe that I am confident without being cocky, that I understand my strengths and my weaknesses. I believe that I want to learn from the people around me, and that no matter what I do, people may be dissatisfied with me and I cannot take it personally. And I cannot afford to doubt myself, there are a number of people who think of highly of me, who believe in me, and believe in what i have to offer. And when others question, undermine, or hate on me, even if its a close friend who doesn't think I work hard enough, or a family member that thinks that I don't know how to properly please my superiors and its my fault - I cannot let their voice get inside my head. Everyone makes sense of the world in different ways and many people do not know how to be supportive. I am good worker, I have my strengths and flaws just like anyone else, I have self respect, and believe that I deserve to be treated with a basic level of respect and that is unacceptable when people do not adhere to basic principles as such.
I try to be considerate to the people around me. I try not to be selfish and I try to be aware of how my actions affect others. I will not always know, I am sometimes oblivious, and people may misunderstand my actions. I cannot deal with these issues in the abstract. I can try to confront these issues head on, to be direct to be proactive and mature. But if someone thinks I watch to much t.v. or have unsophisticated tastes, or am babied by my friends, or twist my candor into judgments against me, it is beyond my control. I cannot get everyone to like me, to believe in me, to see the best in me. People will inevitably be disappointed in me, judge my behaviors and choices, whether small or big and i just have to continue on being myself, and being as true to myself, my values, as I can. I can be self reflective, i can be considerate, but I cannot be preoccupied on manipulating any other person's perceptions of me.
I have so much love in my life, and I must appreciate it. I don't want to be a Debbie Downer, but I also have to be true to myself in my low moments. The most I can do is not judge other people, to think the best of most people, and whether people afford me the same, is beyond my control. Its all beyond my control. Its not my fault. Its not my fault. Its not my fault.
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