hmmm

hey.

so i don't really have any idea of what to blog about but i wanted to show the change in my mood from my last posts. i am in malaysia, about to go for an excursion in the rainforest, and i didn't realize that that sounded remotely glamorous, since really i just spent a few extras after a conference coming to my friends house and then making an outing.... but when i wrote to a friend in London, she teased me...too bad u won't be on email, being in the rainforest in Malaysia and all.

i sometimes have this extremely mild anxiety about my life choices... that's the problem with so much choice, and the power of choice, is that you constantly question whether or not you made the right one. but there are moments, when i feel so blessed to be having this fantastic experience with such wonderful co-workers and friends, in such an interesting part of the world, supporting a cause I so firmly believe in. Its an unusal cross-section that I know deep down, that during any other stage of my life, will be one that I will hold so incredibly dearly to my heart. I can sometimes have a glimpse into my future nostalgia... however stupid that sounds.

so whats the point. the first six months, i compared my thai experience to that horrific last year of law school and i couldnt' help but be ecstatically happy. In the last six months, i have sorted through some growing pains while overall maintaining and very personally satisfying lifestyle. i am not going to lie, there are moments where the uncertainty of my future, the fact that i am not really on aa track anywhere scares me. but i know that the present, will be moments i cherish no matter where I do end up.