Subtextual Plays!

so... here's the thing.... i know I am perceptive person but i also know that I am overanalytical so I try to strike a balance.... like I try not to dig to deep, which I realized with my recent everyday friends over the last two years, in new york and law school aren't fans of, but I also know that my instinctual feelings about situations generally prevail as right and me understanding them, which often means talking through it, pushes me in a good direction of improving things.



So i am a little crazy, admittedly but I kind of envision what goes on in my head as a sub-textual play. Like there are four of us in a room, hanging out having a conversation, but then there all these cues in the sub-text... like what motivated that person to say that? what are they reacting to ? what are their goals... and I have this entire dialgoue that is like a sub-textual play of everything that goes around me. So Mary Q. says "i am planning on going kayaking" and the extra dialogye in my head is "Mary Q. is attempting an open invitation, encouraging participation of others, secretly hoping someone will join her while at the same time making strides to demonstrate her own independence."

So - its not like there is ALWAYS this play but often there - is. And its exhausting. Mostly when the subtext is filled with insecurity, competitiveness, jealousy --- i mean if the subtext is attraction it can be fun, right? Understanding the subtext helps me assimilate to new situations, it helps me come into a new work environment and understand inter-personal dynamics and find my place, it helps me know how to respond and react to people in a positive manner. I try to undersand the own sub-textual vibes and dialogue I put out to others.

But I like situations where there is NONE - no play going on, where there is honesty and comfort and just fun. Where i am not part of the play, other folks are not and we all live happying ever after.