Confusion

today i got the good news
but my heart didn't jump
i am altogether confused
about what i should do
and how to move forward
towards what i've worked for
i never thought this crossroads
would be so unsettling
so rattling
so disconcerting
although i said
life is full of different twists and turns
the reality is i am scared
for once in my life
the insecurity of it all
frightens me
about what direction to go

maybe the answer will come to me in my dreams
and not the fits of anxiety
good night