Poetry Pulease!!!

My mama says take it easy
You're so close to being done
No need to revisit your past
Just take 3 steps forward,
Keep on moving
Stay ahead of your demons
And you won't fall -ter.

When the winter unfolds
And the cold is in my bones
Those tiny blue veins begin to bulge
They laugh and giggle
At my yearly amateur attempts
For a gush of red to charge

And when the wind goes west
my house of cards falls over
And with my hat firmly fitted to my head
My eyes to the ground
The periphery blears with tears
But lucky for me,
I've got plenty of privacy
Riding on the C train

The sound blares
From the TV
You know you can't get lonely
With the lovely noise
For constant company

When I force myself into the scene
Those eager eyes staring
For a performance of my full potential
I dart my eyes left and right
And roll to the floor
To coil into the fetile position

Even with all the friends
Who rush in my defense
And shower me with a proper dose of pity
I am still damp as a dog
When i shake it all off

And the cigarette puff doesn't lift me
And the warm hot chocolate doesn't comfort me
And the goose comforter doesn't bury me

i'd like to be on the dance floor
hips posessed with the beat
the music steaming me with energy
eyes closed,
mouthing all the lyrics to every hip hop jam
stolen to that everlasting moment
far from my daily routine

zoomed out, i still look a pretty eighteen
but eight years have gone
and i know it can't be much longer
before it fails to sustain me
but maybe i can strike out at as a hit
at your impending wedding

its time for bed
my eyes are drooping
and perhaps a cup of tension tamer tea
will resolve all the mixed up emotions
i've recurred to feel

mama, i never gain a foothold ahead
they always feel on the tips of my heels
and its so comfortable when i take it easy
i am tempted to take it real slow
jump off the hamster wheel
and start down that spiral

but i am scared. i am just that scared little girl.
zoomed out i am just an adolescent teen.
just writing a poem to express what i can't speak.