Its's a New Year to Resolve

So my friend says there is no need to resolve with the new year, but its a tradition I can get with, cause I feel like the closing of a year and putting 1.5 yrs of my law school experience behind me is an opportune moment to re-evaluate and look forward.

So here is my big resolve: transition out. i put a whole lot of pressure on myself at every interval to "figure it out," to maximize my circumstances towards whatever goal I have set myself for the time being. In three month stints it was easy, school also provides small semesters where ongoing changes helps to shape new problems and new efforts....
As life stabilizes I want to sort out what cards are already at hand, there is nothing really new looking forward but I need a new formula for approaching things.

With a lot that is good and just a little that is dissatisfying but which seems to have a disproportionate impact on me, I am just going to transition out anything that after 1.5 years doesn't seem to work for me. I think its a good time to say, "what a good try!" and its time to invest energy into something else. And as much as I value my self as a social person I think I would like to transfer more energy to just centering and spending time on my own. I do it well when I travel but its now time for me to take a deep breath and learn to revel in my solitude in way that allows me to push the world out and shut down.

Whether that means meditating, or reading novels during the school years or staring at the ceiling or people watching that's what I want. And its time to eliminate expending my time in mid-sentence waiting or holding on for something to click. It hasn't clicked. I spend too much time contemplating the few things that are distorted and though I appreciate the fortunes I enjoy if I transition out, I can fill myself with so much more positivity on my own.

Its vague I know but I swear it translates into concrete action.