Bangalore Training, Kerala Holiday, Edinburgh Fringe, NYC -Reality

Greetings from USA! Yikes I have a months worth to catch up and life is begun to get chaotic here....

So where to begin, in Bangalore!? Well even though I rushed to pack up what few things (but apparently heavy) I had I made it up for our training by the German funders on Management and Effective Communication. I was brought up to ensure I had quality time with my Executive Director so that we could work on a UNDP (United National Development Programme) proposal for Strengthening Access to Justice in India. However I got to also participate in some of the activities, including my personality tests (which u all know I love, I am "visionary magician - somehow i don't think the German translates well to English, but very sociable, enjoyer of life leaning toward a target-oriented leader), and one of the most important activities where everyone came forward and expressed the personal aspirations for project, fears, goals, what are strenghts and weaknesses. Well the German Trainer was mostly concerned with our presentation and public speaking is a strength of mine, so I thought it would be breeze and I came up with three bullet points to share....

However, once I had the stage, my heart took over me and my mind went all over the place, because it was the first time I had really got to express my feelings in such a way to a crowd who would actually understand me. I stood up there and said that my aspiration was to maintain a part of the project and I feared future breakdown in communication --- that its been hard for me to in law school because its not what i feel i naturally excel at but I am working to improve my research and writing skills so that i can offer a real service to people in India, and that people in the US question why I don't participate in the struggles there, as I more a part of them (i.e. racial issues) but I said that I want to go back to India because I feel like India is also my country. I spoke about how navigating between Westerner and India is challenging as I find ways to meaningfully and that I acknowledge that the legal straining gives me skills, and I show an aptitude for the law, but its hard to navigate because I am happier directly working for people and causes. I again emphasized that human rights is what I am committing myself to for my life.

I am sure these are all things I have shared with people, that in some way I feel like are obvious, that I blog about constantly, but the crowd was a bit shocked. And though my presentation wasn't my best (and the German trainer was quick to point out and pick on me!) my words left an impression. My Executive Director, Henri spoke out first and said how rare it was to see a young NRI (Non-Resident Indian) show a desire to return to India and to be involved in human rights work, and it was truly something special. Others commented on what a strong passion I demonstrated for working and contributing. My friend Lenin, the State Director from UP reiterated much of this at the farewell, and expressed his confidence in me becoming a strong human rights activist -- and it was made clear that I would remain a part of the project for the future. And even thought during those days it was also hard because another friend of mine seemed to question me in an undermining way and I had to once again battle with some of the patriarchal nature of India (which still makes my blood boil) -- I stood strong and walked away with only the best from my experience.

I can't express how much this whole occurrence was important to my zen, and I see it everyday I am back now, as people scramble for 30 interviews with Corporate Law firms to ensure their future career prospects, I can also revel that I making ways in my own professional development, down my own path. And even though the tag line "human rights" is all over NYU Law, I know that perhaps my pursuit of being a Human Rights Activist and working in India is unique and it reaffirms my faith that my passion and people's ability to believe in me will ensure that I will find opportunities for the future. So I can take all that competitive jargon that was fed to me all last year and throw it out the window, I can be confident and just focus on what I came here for was improving my skills..... which I am anxious to do, and also find ways to be useful, and with this project being taken on my the NYU international human right clinic and my professor Smita Narula, my role will be important. And that's nice, at times in my internship i didn't really feel important at all.

Wow - I didn't even get through all of Bangalore and I must admit I must go off now to attend to some errands... other highlights include evenings off, where I got to go the mall in Bangalore, buy a fabulous new dress, see Pirates of Carribean, eat Mexican, and go to a club, yes a club with my Exec Director's 17 year old daughter that was nicer than anywhere i go in NYC (anywhere i can afford to go in NYC) -- I love Bangalore, the weather, the diversity, the livliness, people who speak Hindi. And trainings are always a bit like summer camp... lots of time to hang out in people's room and have long talks, and bond and just have fun. Its the part of life I love that I feel is missing as I get older, what i miss the most abotu college and what i wish law school was more like.

Kerala - well Kerala was perfect zen. Going on Holiday by myself was amazing, and for the first three days i treated myself to luxuries ... and in them I got to relax like I never had and truly just meditate in life. I have never felt better than when I was travelling in houseboat alone through Kerala's stunning backwaters... and what was wondeful about having no company was i didn't have to analyze my internship or anticipate my next year of law school, I could take a full on vacation from my brain. And a little bit of paradise with that is awesome... and I ate it up... and I love the ocean and I loved being on my own and I enjoyed the days i did socialize with people and truly interesting people whose company I valued... (well except for these pack of mildly idiot German guys, but they were amusing)

Well despite the heightened security measures at the Indian aiport and cancellation of my flight from London to Edinburgh after the Heathrow fiasco.. i made it to Scotland, to the company of one of my best friends from college Rhiannon, during the Edinburgh Fringe Theatre festival where she was doing a play. With Rhi, I got to share everything about my summer experience, and she has always been there for me as the first person I have seen (her house in England is my stoppover) after experiences abroad and though sometimes I fear i talk her ear off, that is our relationship and its so great to have someone to admit all the nitty gritty details too.. cause there is always this sense that when I land in NY everything sorts of fades away and conversation, and focus moves more directly to the here and now. And it has... I got to spend most of my first week in NY with my family, which is important to me, and of course the mundane such as unpacking, laundry, emails, and meetings before my oral surgery (wisdom teeth pulled) -- its bit of the quiet before the storm.

And what lies ahead of me this year intimidates me in a lot of ways but excites me as well - it will be a challenging but hopefully rewarding year when all that energy I've been storing to be productive might actually be used.... just hopefully not fully depleted too quickly (i hope its renewable!) As for combatting the culture of law school, I think maintaining a sense of confidence that I have rebuilt this summer and re-visting my blog, and not defending myself might be the key to the zen of law school.


Lots of love,
Reena