I am sorry to really MASS email this to everyone, but I am not sure the next time I will have access to a computer so I thought I would at least share a little to everyone and to let everyone know that I have arrived safely in India. Last week I first dropped through the fabulous United Kingdom, which nearly robbed me blind because the pound is $1.80 right now, but I did all the necessary, including a nostalgic day in London which included a trip to the theatre to see the musical Bombay Dreams... just to get me in the mood, it was quite entertaining! Did I mention that my flight from NY to London, I was bumped "upstairs" to first class on my British Airways flight and I have never enjoyed flying so much!!!
I arrived in New Delhi on Friday, and frankly sometimes it feels like I never left the Western World -- India of course, has no resemblance to the US, but my god it really has "modernized" to a ridiculous point -- and the materialism, consumerism, and focus on appearance here is the city could give US a run for its money. I feel very much at home here, perhaps because I was here only two years ago or because Tanzania was sooo far from civilization whereas India has EVERYTHING, i mean everything you could need/want/desire (at 1/10th the price to boot)... but perhaps is because I have embraced my Indian identity so much now that it is Home. The youth here is so much the same. Don't get me wrong, India still has its flare and maintains it cultue, design, and traditions in nearly ALL it adopts from the rest of the world.
My family is ecstatic to have me here, and we are having a great time - my first night we went to a "Lori party" for the holiday at the Defense Colony club, and there were Bhangrad dance performers and a DJ, I ate like the hungry monster I am, had a few drinks, and danced with all the 'Aunties' and 14 year old girls to Panjabi MC until 12:30 AM. My comprehension of Hinglish is of course very high, pure Hindi is challenging, andd I have yet to really muster the courage to speak a lot -- though my cousins have been giving me lessons which are helpful, since I need to refresh.
I leave for the village next week and was very very upset to hear from the current volunteers, who I had met in America (Patrick and Sachin) that they were very unhappy with their experience and wanted to leave early. I finally had a panic attack and first time started to second guess myself and ask myself if I could handle this experience, and then whether or not I had chosen the right organizatrion. I had to really talk myself out of this, and go back to my mentality of taking it one day at a time, assessing the situation, and being proactive to make sure I get the experience I desire... luckily I have my family out here and a lot of resources to work out the situation. I am meeting the two tomorrow in Delhi, and I talked to Sachin today and I think he unneccesarily got me worked up... but anyhow, I will let you know how it goes... I am still slated to work at the preschool -- which is actuallly government run as of now but needs to be beefed up to meet standards, and working with the mothers, and pregnant mothers or mothers with newborns.
I am getting my fair share of yummy treats while being here and luxury treatment (hair cut/massage, manicure/pedicure) and of course owning India as my new home... I will be hopefully travelling on weekends to Delhi somewhat often and I do have an affection for its diversity, bustlingness, love for lifestyle eatingout, parties, entertainment, etcetera very much in line with "fabulous Reena" but I am also ready for the humble nature of the village -- the only thing that scares me other than my Hindi is the weather and seasons but I will survive!!!Alright, I will write more again and will have more to say of substance.
Love Reena
Hello All,
So it seems that my email access will be extremely limited, so here goes another MASS email which I apologize for but I have so much to share.On Monday of this week I traveled to Behror from New Delhi which is midway between Delhi and Jaipur, about 2.5 hrs away.. I arrived very late at night and stayed in the Humana People to People office... that night I met with the country leader and project leader and set it straight that I knew about the previous volunteers' problems with the organization and how we could avoid me having to go through the same issues... after that, everything has been much better put together.
On Tuesday morning, I travleed 8km down the road to the my village where I moved into... it called Begana and has 142 families .. with about 800 people. The village itself is one of the cleanest in the district and actually most of the families are above the poverty line, so the houses are real structures and not "mud huts" or the such, and because of the Integrated Water and Sanitation Project (which is what I have joined) it is one of the cleanest villages... but that does not mean we have walked into the modern world that Delhi is.
At first I met up with my friend Patrick and we settled to have me live with this retired teacher and his wife -- they are grandparents age... the wife did not seem to take to me, and the husband said I would have to win her heart over. THen I went to the office where I attended a meeting where the staff discussed whether or not they were going to keep a partnership with the government to improve sanitation in the villages in the district, now that UNICEF (our partner) is mandated to go through the government to work with us. As of now the project, in the last 4 years has increase the number of family who have latrines from the 4% the governemtn had achieved in the fifty years from independence to 18% -- -but in order to get continued funding from the government, my organization woudl have to fulfuill absurd gaols of 100% latrines per family in only ONE YEAR. Therefore they have abandoned a specific latrine per family goal and are working to goals of greater education and things like self-help groups, preschools, etceter.
This is where me and the other volunteers come in, we have been placed in a single village in hopes of making it the model village.... I will be working with my friend Patrick on imrpoving two government preschools and expanding to 5 others in the area, and in a month or so once my Hindi has improved and I a more established in the village, I will be working with women's groups and what not.
When we returned to the village late at night, I felt very uncomfortable with the family I was supposed to be staying with so this wonderful women, who is my new "mom" but only old enough to be my sister, has put me in her household --- in a room with her daughter Tina who is 15 years old, and she has two adorable sons who are ALL VERY HELPFUl, and a husband. We live in arow of 5 houses, all of the same family.To get into my house.. we have to enter a room with all the cows... and the second night I was there the cow gave birth to a baby calf -- which was very excitting. The latrine is abit of a walk away, and ihave ot bypass the angry buffalo who always spits and stares at me as I try to go to the bathroom. I have been pumping the handpump and taking my bathwater to my house, and luckily its close and my new arm muscles have been useful. I am even drinking the water from the handpump, because it is the cleanest around. The Rajsthani food is excellent, and they give me a hot glass of milk every night with dinner, fresh as fresh can be. There are many peacocks int eh village that sit on the rooftops, and camels, who carry things around and are transport, and lots of little puppies that cuddle together to keep themselves warm. It is quite endearing...and of course I drink 4 cups of chai every day!
Everything is good, I really like the people but the gender relations are definitely an adjustment. My "mom" got married when she was 11 and her daughter Tina, my "sister" will get married next year at age 16 to a man she has never met nor has the mother... its one thing to read about this in books but another thing when its peopel you are becoming close to. And the men as Patrick has the inside view on, see prostitutes once a month in a neighboring village and speak very lowly of the women. The women are this amazing human beings who work from 5 AM til night, doing the laundryu, cooking hte meals over the fire, cleaning, taking care of the animals, EVERYTHING. They are the ones I am building the closeknit relationship, and of course I want to start helping in the household, even as incompetent as I am... And of course all the children are very adorable, and the kids in my household really are well behaved and lovely. We have a little electrity, one or two light bublbs, and even after all there chores in the evening they study with the little light or by candlelight.
I am back here in Delhi for the weekend, there is the holiday "republic day" on Monday whichis is a day exhibiting India's national pride. I will write more soon.
much love,
Reena
Hello all again!!!
This should hopefully be the last HUGE mass email I will send, because life should become pretty routine from here on out but I thought I would take this chance to let you know how my "job" working in the preschools is going.
I returned back to the village Monday night from Delhi with my fellow volunteers Patrick and Sachin and I had a great weekend in Delhi. I went to the Indian Cinema and saw the film "Kal Hona Ho" which takes place in NYC - and even though there were absoltuely no English subtitles -- I understood the entire film but one scene (which is nothing for a 3 hour saga that Bollywood films are). The music and film was excellent (not the same story line) and I want the CD -- so I am really getting in touch with my Indian roots!Its so funny how the village is worlds apart from the city -- I truly experience two different Indias.
Tuesday I began work in preschool -- but i has been very cold and when the weather is bad -- they don't send the young kids to school. This week I only worked with the kids in Begana, the village I live in. The school in the village has children of all years in one location, and because it is cold, they all sit outside on mats and not indoors. The kids just generally sit on the mats, not doing anything at all -- while the teachers sit in plastic chairs reading the newspaper or gossiping. Essentially they are babysitting not teaching --- but the worst part is the kids don't even get to run around -- they just sit there -- killing time. Me, Patrick and Sachin came in -- and started by making all the kids get in a circle and introducing ourselves and saying what countries we are from. We then did things like the "Hokey Pokey" (we add Hindi words to explain what to do), ring around the roseys, and we sang a Hindi nursery rhyme as well (Dhobi Aya).
The entire school participates-- the teachers from the upper grades let them come -- because they never go to do any of this when they were young either. Its soo sad because when I gave the kids crayons and paper to color with -- they didn't even know what to do. They don't know how to draw anything really. I bought a bunch of supplies for the school, charts, crayons -- I brought my cousins old games and toy cars -- and its like introducing color into a world of black and white. The older kids love the toy cars -- and even Tina my fifteen year old "sister" keeps a toy motorcuylde in our room. Two adults --married men played snakes and ladders the other day, it was so amusing!I lead the way -- I have become the Madame but Patrick and Sachin are great -- and Sachin explains all the things in Hindi when I stumble over myself. We are teaching the young ones the colors and yesterday they drew things that are red (lal). We sing about 3 Hindi nursery rhymes now -- which they recite excellently and I have show then HIndi versions of duck duck goose (whish is buttock buttock goose because we don'tknow what the Hindi word for goose is) and Head shoulders, knees and toes)
The kids are very obedient -- although they can be rough and violent with each other and I cringe because the teachers discipline them by smacking them. I play with all the kids in the adjoining homes when I return from the preschool,so I just really play all day (I even tried to play cricket). Its so funny,because the children are so obedient in the village, and have such huge responsibilites -- the 12year old son I live with inject the buffalo with a syringe every day so it gives milk and cares for it, Tina makes rotis, cleans allt he rooms and dishes, the10 yr oldson makes chai and crushes chillis ---- but there education doesn't really teach them how to imagine create or as such. In the school the kids get the water from the handpump, serve us, carry chairs -- very obediently -- but they aretn't taught Western "traditional" things. I know I can make a lot of headway with the kids I am working with -- I am worried a bit about how to not get montonous and move forward during a period of six months. --
But the problem is the sustainabilty of the work I am doing -- the teachers seem relieved when we come that we take the children off their hands -- they aren't "learning by example" and I doubt a training session will do much good. The language barrier is still very hard in the village -- especially because most of the women speak "Rajsthani" and no Hindi so I get very confused even though the languages are similar.
I am building confidence in speaking -- although my sentences are usually grammatically incorrect I am able to communicate thoughts and ideas. Its funny though because I feel that the women view me as a child -- everyone thinks i am only 17 and I am not sure if even once I get the hang of the language completely, they will really want to learn from me in the ways of workshops and whatnot. They don't really have the time and are pretty confident in their lifestyle. It was hard to see though when my "mom" had to go do some work for her mother in another village -- Tina was held back from school because someone had to do the work of taking care of the buffalo and cookingdinner. If they are sick they cannot rest, because who will do the work. Surely not their husbands. I am hoping maybe I can at least help them with an income generating project.
I often feel perhaps I am "useless" in the village because I am learning so much more from them, the language, how to handle their way of life, than I feel like I am giving -- I am only at the preschool right now for about 2 hours a day (it only lasts for 3 hours).. but slowly my role should expand I hope. But I am enjoying myself nevertheless. The only thing that can be difficult is having to be self conscious of following the rules of patriarchy(I will write more on that later) -- because I have never been much to care to be self consious or worry about my reputation or what people will say-- but news travels quickly around the village andI find myself trying to be a very "good girl" inorder to winthe trust of the people.
I am in Jaipur right now -- hoping tosee my former HIndi teacher Prabha in the afternoon and went out for some chicken (the village diet is vegetarian) and some rice to changeof pace from roti. I could write so much more -- but this is already way tooo long and i am in dire need of taking a bath -- its been too cold in the village the past few mornings. I don't know when I will have internet access again but please write -- I love hearing from all of you. I am goingon acamel safari inthe desert in acouple of weekends and am super excited. Love and miss you all,Reena
Some Lessons Learned:
1) Wash your clothes everyday!(don't wait a week to wash your clothes by hand)Everyone since the time arrived, asked me when I was going to wash my clothes and insisted that I wash my suits (I wear Punjabi suit, salvar kameez, (pants, long shirt and scarf) -- the married women in my village where lehengas (long skirt short blouse and scarf over head)) EVERYDAY, but because as most of you know I HATE doing laundry -- I do it once a month in the US, I waited. Well washing a suit -- with 3 pieces and that much material and doing ALL 5 in one afternoon was just plain dumb and exhausting.From now on you will see my one my slate of stone next to the handpump, crouching and cleaning my clothes Everyday!
2) Don't wear western clothes -- even if they are loose they are revealing.
I decided to wear some western clothes for a change of pace, sporty loose clothes, no problem, right? Wrong! Courching is an essential part of village life -- chairs are limited (don't really exist) AND especially if you are playing with the children. As you all know with my low-waisted western pants -- my Victoria's Secret was revealed and my underwear was in PLAIN VIEW - My fellow teacher instructed me Indian clothes from now on.
3) Women don't ride on the top of the bus!
When the local bus gets full -- and I mean FULL!!! (suffocatingly crowded) -- people move to sit on the top of the bus, probably not the safest choice but that or suffocation -- or having to wait... So as the bus apporached my fellow male volunteers hopped to the ladder and I followed --- but was quickly questioned (Behenji Behenji (sister sister)) -- WHAT ARE YOU DOING? And retereated to finding a small space downstairs.
4) Don't let your puppy under anyone else's care. One of the many million dogs in teh village had a puppy -- which stays in the field near our house. The kids showd it to me and I fell in love with this puppy, named her pookie, and visited her everyday when my "sister" goes to collect the firewood for the stove. But I left for 2 days to Jaipur last weekend -- and ALAS somebody decide to cut my puppy's EARS OFF!! I was mortified, the poor thing. I still visit her everyday but nearly come to tears. Apparently the family is claiming it, things long ears are not good looking!
Thats all the share for the meantime -- just in Delhi for a quick stop to buy More PRESENTS PRESENTS and materials for babies in preschool -- who I am now struggling to discipline without retreating to hit them. I also came to collect my nice wear... for a wedding I am going to with my family (my extended family of 30 people or so) NEXT weekend.. and then I am going on my camel safari at the end of the month.I love you all and PLEASE WRITE if you have the time.Reena
Dear Friends,The last two weeks have been an unbelievable whirlwind and I found myself today with 36 unread messages in my inbox --- ACK!!!
The theme of these past two weeks has truly been love and marriage, and I have found myself struggling to make sense of the patriachal society in which I live in and stretch my cultural imagination -- all while having some interesting adventures along the way!
Work has been going well, and the school children show me more love than sometimes I know what to do with - - fighting to hold my hand when we make a circle and shouting my name all over the village -- they are all truly amazing and now that i have open them to the world of coloring and playing games, they are in constant demand -- so disciplining them has become a task but I still enjoy playing. My child like spirit stays in tact and i am scared I might not even be able to interact with you all when I come back to the States without sticking my tongue out or something silly like that.
Last Sunday I rode for Two, count 'em two hours on a TRACTOR through rural Indian to attend a wedding with my family --- my family in my village is about 25 people, and about 20 of us went... I decided to sit up front on the tractor versus the trolley and still have round of black and blue bruises on my back side. The wedding had very few actual "functions to attend" so again I found myself running around wiht the children, except this time decked out in my fancy Indian wear. The evening after we arrived the DJ showed up and promised all I would dance... the DJ I found out is just on a truck and cannot play a mix of songs worth a damn.... we all dance on the road of the village with the cow dung and mud and rocks, and ever 15 minutes the truck moves up 20 feet and we all follow. I of course let everyone know that I love to dance -- but apparently its not looked well upon for women to dance unless its "their family's" wedding but since this was my family's I was COMMANDED TO DANCE. All the men secretly got drunk while the women continued to do all the work -- and then I was stuck on this road with drunken man dancing like monkeys, being thrown in insistently to dance. I dragged my children with me and then decided the pressure by drunken men to be a one woman show was too much so I went off to bed. ...
There I slept in a concrete room on the floor where 15 of us were sleeping, in the middle of 10 children -- there were also 6 peopel sleeping on cots as well -- wasn't any bigger than a dorm room (if that big).... The next day I didn't feel comfortable dancing but the pressure was once again on, and this time the women were going to actually come, again they weren't going to dance but they Pushed me in the road and begged me -- men came through giving money to those who would and throwing bustles of it in the air for children to catch. The groom stood by on the horse and we moved with the DJon the truck through the village bribibg the DJ and horse man along the way. Indian culture!!!
We went to the girl's village (who no one knows because its a blind arranged marriage) for the other function.. which other than children No women go to... so being with my foreign friends as well, I had loads of drunk Indian men ogling me and my friend Caroline but I sat in a protective circle of my children -- my 10-12 yr old 'brothers' are my favorite and they take care of me, make sure I wear my scarf so nothing looked revealing... We then went to the girl's house and I got to see her before she entered the ceremony to marry to a man she has never seen or met and then go off that night to his village to start her new life. We went in there, and of course her family had no idea who we people were (I don't look like a foreigner) and even made us take a picture with her and then asked what relation we were and then I was like "actually we work for UNICEF" -- eek. She went from laughing and joking with all her sisters and aunts to in a moment sat down and tears started to emerge from her eyes. They covered her face and she was escorted to the pundit to perform the ceremony. The whole experience was crazy and now everyone is trying to get me married and asking me whether or not I like the way they do things.
To top it off, my 15 year old sister Tina, got engaged two days ago through a ceremony where the boys father merely looked at her for 45 seconds... and the whole thing just totally unnerved me. I am invited to the wedding which will take place in November and expected to come since I am her sister.
I argue over and over agian that the American system of marriage is just as bad as the Indian and that I hate marriage altogether as an instituion but this is clouding my head.I am here in Delhi to clear my head, spent 3 hours in the beauty parlor with a facial that made my skin look ten times paler and a massage for my black and blue body -- I also have scabies right now which looks like mosquito bites all over my skin.
The villagers love me more earnestly now than ever tooo -- I am invited to everyone's house for chai and its a constant war of where I am going... the children are amazing and I feel a part of a family, a feeling I haven't had in ages. They lovingly stuff oranges down my face, we chace stray donkeys and jump on them for a ride, we constantly tell jokes. I also love the little babies, and the two year old grabs me all the time and fell asleep in my arms for 2 hours and i was in heaven. Its very overwhleming.My Hindi has gotten very good and I feel a lot more comfortable, confident and competent in India. I can't beleive 6 weeks have gone by and I can't believe so mcuh more remains. This email has been all over the place, and I apologize and I look forward to hearing from all of you soon!
Love Reena
Hello All, It has been a few weeks since I have written, and much has happened -- of course!
First is that me, Patrick and Caroline ventured on a 15 hour overnight train, deep into the Thar Desert of Rajisthan for camel safari....After taking the local bus to Jaipur, we killed time (I am amazing at finding ways to make time pass these days) until Midnight, where we boarded our sleeper train to Jessamer. The first thing that happened, which always happened during travel, is that a fight broke out between some men-- thankfully we were actually given our seats safely at the top of sleeper beds as everyone schemed to maintian where they were even though they didn'thave a legitimate ticket. The fight continue for about 30 minutes, right admist us until they sent in the army guys to calm the situation. I of course quickly fell asleep but my friends told me the guy who started the whole commotion came backagain and kept switching on all the lights and creating havoc because he was mad. The train was only 3 hours late, so we arrived at Jessamer at 3 pm, and it truly is quite an amazing city with a fort set on top of the Indian desert.
We did a little shopping (can I resist?) and ate Italian food on the top of the fort while watching the sunset. People live int he fort in this little winding alleys of colorfully painteed homes,and must I say the stray cows of Jessamer are quite beautiful and helathy compared to the Delhi ones. Our hotel people, treated me like a queen, they call me Reena Rani, whihc means Queen Reena or Reena my Queena for those of you that prefer that. We arranged a jeep and camel safari, where we went the next day to see tombs of Mughal warrior with 5-12 wives buried next to them, a Hindu Temple, and Jain temple, and than made a big stop to see a village (which ofcourse really wasn't that thrilling for us, since it looked like our home). We set out on our camels to trek through the desert to some sand dunes and my god were my Inner Thighs SORE!!! I felt very dignified so high up and it was truly a different India, with no people around, and such silence -- I ofcourse felt the pressure tohave some great epiphone about my life, but nothing came to mind. Camel Flatulence is also highly unpleasant and quite common but thank god my camel decided that it had to be in the front and lead the way. We settled down on the sand dunes to spend the night sleeping on the sand under the stars (I have never seen a sky like that!) and I paid the extra money to have the desert locals, come sing and dance for me -- I wanted someone to entertain for me in my court, since inthe village I am constantly their puppet!
We woke up the next morning and wearing our turbans they put on my head (Amra, mine was red of course!) the camel driver decided to have the camels run, and once again was my body black and blue, but I think I prefer a camel to a tractor, I haven't decided yet. Washed up and set back to our little world in the village.
The week back, I truly felt constantly in demand in the village --- its like I am a celebrity, constantly bombarded by people, everyone invites me to their house constantly EVERY CHILD at school wants me to come to their house for chai, and with 50 kids its impossible to do in a timely manner wtihout others getting jealous... And when I do sit with thems, I am the center of conversation -- and they still switch into their local language of Rajsthani and sometimes I just don't understand --- i feel like Iamsome sort of oral exam. I get tired quickly, my mind gets tired from speaking Hindi all day and than I look at the fact that I do NO work in the village compared to these industrious people, and I feel lazy.
Us volunteers, we bring such a light into these people's lives, they want us around ALL THE TIME,and I always have to be 100% Reena, full of energy and playfulness -- they get disspointed if I am not on top of my game. I rarely have a second to myself and ofcourse NO privacy, no time to regroup. The thing that gets me sometimes though is constantly be told what to do by the others -- or not being able to make a choice, I want to do this wihtout being pressured to do one way or the other or questioned. You all know how i cherish my independence and autonomy. Its notbad and their hassling all comes fromt he love and the children really never trouble me, its the older people, so I just run away and play badmittion or find my escapes as I can.
Playing with the children, we always find ways to amuse ourselves, dressing me up in a sequence langha and covering my face up and prancing me around as someone new, me riding a bicycle around the dirt roads. Sometimes I justcan't believe I have been in the village for 2 months and they still love me like a novelty, I wonder if I ever will just blend in and not be treated as such an honored guest.
I experience my favoritest Holiday EVER --- which was last weekend, HOLI. On Sunday Morning we woke up bright and early at 7 AM and then from 8AM-10:30, I fought with all the village kids, with bags of colored powder (rung), and had a massive water fight. I was completely drenched and covered from head to toe in an array of flourescent colors of pink, red, yellow, green, and blue. I felt like the free - est spirt ever... and even as I tried myself in the sun and gorged myself on pakora, and poori aloo for lunch We still spent the afternoon until 1 PM, getting our facing smeared with the colored powder, this time with the adults. We sneak over and the married women woudl wrestle and smear their faces with color -- even husbands and wives (some of who never speak to eachother regularly). Everyone plays. It was soooo much fun! Everyone says its a dirty holiday, and my friend Caroline wasnot able to get the colors out of her blonde hair but I had the time of my life and you can always get clean-- even if it takes three buckets for a bath instead of one!And then unfortunately, my dear friend Patrick has finsihed his program and on Tuesday was his farewell. Monday we didn't really do anything special so I figured the people woudl just walk usto the road and say goodbye. Iw as wrong! They hired the DJ who goes ont he truck (liek the wedding) sat Patrick first on a camel and then a horse, busted back out with the powdered colorsand marigold petals -- and we trudged through the entire village (with the entire populations of the village surrounding us, all 800 people) dancing alongthe way,andour school children even showed up by our side. It was quite an unbelievable spectacle.
And I was pushed and shove to dance for everyone ONCEAGAIN -- and one man got violent with me grapping my arm so roughly I was bleeding where he puncted his nails into my skin -- and so the latter half was a bit ruined for me as I was a bit upset. But of course the men of my family called him out and he was scolded for his rough handling. I made it back here to Delhi in one piece, where unfortunately some fighting with my parents have made me have a bit of a sour mood and I am off to Jaipur tomorrow mornign to see my friend Prabha before she moves away to Lucknow and then return early on Sunday morning to go to the village of my village sister Tina's fiance. I am still very happy to be here, even as the hot weather approaches, and even though I am probably a little run down right now (first OFF moments since arriving two months ago)-- my low points happen in all walks of my life and there is nothing about India or my experience in the village that is bringing me down, in fact I am very pleased with how well things are going and will just knock on wood that life continues on.
I love my children, is the thing I keep reiterated, and I can't even imagine a life when I return to the United States where there are no children -- so people buck up and start making babues. This is a gargantuous email, and I am not sure when I will have a chance to write again, but I would love to have my inbox full with updates from you all on your life's happenings!
Love Reena
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