Friendships

So i am sure i have mentioned before, but two of my close American friends Cresa and Sora have already left and soon my friend Manik and David will be leaving also. Its not so much that they are American that leaves a hole in my life, but also they are Persons of Color who have grown up with certain similar experiences and perspectives on the world (the American-ness obviously binds us as well), and we can talk about all aspects of our lives with one another, whether its career confusion, romance and sex, or politics & spirituality. Although I have a wealth of friendships throughout Chiang Mai and feel blessed everyday that I have so much fun and laughter surrounding me at all times, the depth that comes with these friendships is something that I consistently crave and enhances my quality of life. Its become ever more so clear, when Sonia my friend from law school and her brother came to visit Thailand. And Sonia and I can talk about lawyering and immigration and sometimes we can not talk at all but enjoy the fact the comfort that we share similar opinions on so many things.

And here's the thing, I love my college renaissance of life, I do enjoy the time I have to sit and watch music videos and discuss songs and gossip and go shopping and do my hair up in different styles. And I like not feeling like my life is overwhelmed with "responsibility" and "burdens" and feeling constantly exhausted by the sheer exercise of routine everyday. And I have challenges ranging with language and culture inherent in my job that are so unlike anything I would get in America that reminds me the joys of living abroad and why I have always been attracted to this field of work. But there is that analytical discourse, the kind where Gabe my best friend and I could have an entire discussion on the right angle in which to park the car in the garage and amuse ourselves, that feels growingly absent in my life. I love the analysis that comes for deep issues but also just for the entertainment value. And luckily for me I still have the internet so I can reach my friends even when they are far away, but obviously I feel compelled to spend time with real people as opposed to google chat.

I think I can value and appreciate the people in my life, but I have to understand the limits and drawbacks to this particular lifestyle and either find other outlets or engage in other activities to satisfy the void I feel. It shouldn't be too difficult, and also there is always the possibility that new people will come around also.