Frozen

sometimes.... i find that after i unwind before i go to bed
i can't find the energy to get myself into bed
and i stare at the TV
or i stare at the computer screen
in slow motion
exhausted
but avoiding tomorrow

i should adhere to my old schedule
where i respond to the responsibility
moving forward
from task to task
aware of whats next
and whats done

my current world is a tornado
of emotions driving me in directions
and steering me sometimes to dangerous paths
but I am grasping for control
Am i re-forcing functionality
or is the natural drive, natural energy there?

i screeched and halted to a stop
crashed into pieces
blood dripping down
now i am running
my pace to acelerate forward is still slow
i am just
trying to breathe

breath out self doubt
breath in self love

& avoid overwhelming
my brittle brain